Snowed in with the Doctor Page 15

  “Hi, Maureen. This is going to sound crazy, but could you check on Justin for me?”

  “What happened?”

  “I’m not sure. I haven’t spoken to him for a while, and I’ve called all his numbers and get no reply. I know he’ll think I’m just bugging him so I thought if you—”

  “Right. I’ll go check on him.”

  After hanging up, Lora could barely concentrate. Would Justin be furious with her? Say that she was meddling in his life? It was a risk she was willing to take. When an hour passed without a call back from Maureen, Lora began to relax. It was probably nothing. Maureen likely was reading him the riot act for not getting in touch with anyone. Lora was walking to her car when her phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “Lora?” Ann said in a strained voice. “You’ve got to come to the hospital fast.”

  She froze. “The hospital?”

  “It’s bad. The worst it’s been in a while. Hurry. He may not make it this time.”

  * * *

  Not again. Not again. Lora kept repeating the words as she sped to the hospital. Ann was just overreacting, she tried to convince herself. It wasn’t going to be that bad. They’d stabilize him and then everything would be fine.

  At the hospital, memories began flooding back. Suzette’s mother calling her in the middle of the day and telling her that Suzette probably wouldn’t make it through the night. She remembered the hospital’s sanitized smell. Only two days earlier Suzette had been sitting up in bed, eating what looked to be a nonpalatable plate of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and greens. She had bought several new CDs, and she and Suzette had spent several hours listening to the music while doing a crossword puzzle. When she had left, Suzette was sleeping soundly. Nothing had prepared her for the call from her mother.

  Lora registered with the front desk then raced to Justin’s hospital room. She halted in the doorway when she saw Justin hooked up to a ventilator. He had tubes attached to him everywhere. Please God, she prayed silently, please don’t take him. Not Justin.

  Ann rushed over and hugged her. “Thank God you’re here.”

  Lora was too stunned to hug her back. “What happened?”

  “I’m glad you called me,” Maureen said. She sat near the wall, her face pale. “By the time I’d gotten to his place a tenant had already called the ambulance. It seems that Louis had gone crazy, and he had somehow reached the front doorknob and gotten out of the apartment. He started running up and down the halls barking and alerting everyone. A neighbor found Justin and called 911. He hasn’t regained consciousness.

  “He was running a fever of 104 degrees. They were concerned that the bacterial infection he had would lead to either pneumonia or meningitis. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. They put him on a major antibiotic treatment protocol, but there is still some concern. He may have also suffered a mild seizure, and the doctors won’t know what damage this may have caused until he regains consciousness. No one knows how long he was unconscious and how much time passed without adequate oxygen.”

  Before Lora could respond, the head doctor, a woman in her fifties, introduced herself to them.

  “Good morning. I’m Dr. Chin.” She then turned and began discussing Justin’s case to the group of residents following her. It was eerily similar to Suzette’s last hospital visit. She couldn’t go through this again. She wouldn’t.

  “Not now,” Lora said to the doctor.

  Dr. Chin bristled at her tone. “We’re just going to—”

  “I said not now! You can use someone else as a study subject. Not him. Now get out!”

  The doctors hurried from the room. Lora stared at the door with satisfaction, then turned and looked at Justin’s sisters. They stared back at her in horror. Her sense of victory faded. What was she doing? She sounded like a crazy person, and maybe she was. Maybe she’d finally snapped. This was a nightmare, and she had to get out. But not before telling Justin how she felt. She walked over to his bed. “I’m not going to be like your sisters and feel sorry for you. You did this to yourself because you’re arrogant and stubborn. You once called me selfish and now I’ll say the same to you. You’re selfish because you do whatever you want, no matter who it hurts.

  “You don’t care how helpless we feel.” She tapped her chest. “How helpless I feel. I can’t make your pain stop. I can’t save you. I thought we had a future together—I wanted a future with you, but you don’t think about tomorrow. You only think about now. So I’ll say this to you now. I love you. I probably always will, and I pray you’ll recover from this and find the woman who is right for you. Because it’s not me. You deserve so much more than this.” She kissed his forehead. “Goodbye.” She turned quickly, not seeing the stream of tears that slipped from under his eyelids. All she saw were the white walls and the white floors, and she knew she needed to get out of there fast.

  She ran out of the hospital and down the street until her lungs threatened to burst. No. No. She couldn’t do this again. They’d met in a hospital and now things would end there. She couldn’t deal with it. She couldn’t face the pain again. She wouldn’t. He did this to himself. He wouldn’t listen to anyone. To her. And now he’d... No, she wouldn’t think about it. Why was the world so cruel to give her someone to love and then take him away? She collapsed onto the hard ground, feeling numb. Her fears had come true. All her happiness had been ripped from her.

  Lora didn’t know how long she sat staring at cars passing, but when the sun started to set she returned to her car. She started to drive home, then decided to go back to her office. Once there, she grabbed a cardboard box and started packing. She had to leave. She was giving up. Sickle cell had won. It would always win. One day someone would find a cure, but it wouldn’t be her. She was sick of the disease—sick of how it stole away young lives. Maybe her father had been wrong, and she was no daughter to be proud of. She hadn’t been able to help anyone she loved.

  “Lora, what are you doing?”

  She looked up and saw Carla. “What are you doing here? I thought everyone had gone home.”

  “I had a few things to do. What’s going on?”

  “I’m quitting.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m no use to anyone.”

  “That’s not true. You won the fellowship and you have a bright future in research. Do you know how many scientists, young and old, applied for and would have liked to have won it and the $150,000 dollars? You are bright, and you have new and progressive ideas. If I were your age and had won a prestigious award like that, I’d be on top of the world. You’ll be able to really begin looking at some of those theories and treatment protocols you’ve been anxious to investigate.”

  “Who cares? They’re only theories and...nothing applicable.”

  “In time—”

  “I don’t have time.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Justin’s in the hospital. He has sickle cell anemia and he suffered a major crisis while he was home alone. I don’t know what I’ll do if...”

  Carla fell into a chair. “I didn’t know.”

  “Most people don’t. He acts as if by denying the disease he doesn’t really have it. He doesn’t need me. He made that clear. He wants to live his life any way he wants to, and I won’t stand in his way. When you really love someone you let them go, right?”

  Carla nodded, understanding more than Lora could imagine. “But I think you’re being hasty. You love your work here and you do make a difference.”

  “Not enough of a difference.”

  “You’re reasoning with your heart instead of your head.”

  “If he dies...I won’t be able to stand the sight of his empty office or someone coming and taking his place. And if he lives...I won’t be able to face the fact that we’ll never be together.”

  Carla
stood and set the box on the ground. “Come on. I think we both need a drink.”

  Minutes later the two women sat at a bar with a couple of pina coladas and a bowl of cashews.

  “So when will I meet the man you’re seeing?” Lora asked, trying desperately to forget the memories in her head. She wanted to erase the image of Justin lying helpless in the hospital bed. She needed to get as far away from him as she could.

  Carla shook her head. “You won’t. It’s over.”

  “Really? Why?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it. We came here to drown our troubles, not talk about them.”

  Lora ignored her. “Is it because he didn’t show up for the ceremony or because he has a child?”

  Carla took a big gulp of her drink, then sighed. “Both.”

  “The past several months you’ve been very happy. If he’s the reason, I’d say fight for it. Sometimes love can be messy.”

  Carla flashed an ironic grin. “I saw you running away from it.”

  Lora shook her head. “I’m different. I’m through with love.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “Did your man ever tell you he loved you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Justin never has. And today I learned that no matter how much I love him, he doesn’t love me enough to care about how I feel.”

  “He’s a difficult man to understand.”

  “Maybe one day he’ll find a woman who understands him. But I’m going to stop trying. He has a family who loves him. Me? I just have a broken heart. And a career I need to focus on.” She raised her glass. “To being single.”

  “I think you should be with him, Lora. If something were to happen...”

  Tears threatened to fall, but Lora held them back. “I’ve already said goodbye.”

  * * *

  It had been agony. Lora had been so close. He’d heard her voice, but he hadn’t been able to do anything. Justin felt as if his heart would burst. He’d wanted to tell her how sorry he was; he’d wanted to hold her, but he was a prisoner in his body. He knew once she was gone, she’d never return. She’d said she’d loved him. Then why had she left? Why couldn’t she understand he hadn’t done this to hurt her? He hadn’t wanted to hurt anyone; he just wanted to be like everybody else. And she was wrong. He loved her.

  Chapter 18

  “I’d say it was a miracle,” Dr. Chin said, looking over Justin’s chart. It had been a week since his hospitalization and he’d greatly improved. He’d averted severe complications from the major kidney and bone infections he’d developed. But Dr. Chin had spoken with him, at length, about the need to take his disease seriously, or the next time he may not be so lucky. “We came very close to losing you, but I’m glad we didn’t.” She smiled as she left. Justin was released three days later.

  Maureen had come to take him home. She rested her hands on her hips. “You scared the hell out of us.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Oliver walked into the hospital room. “You should tell that to Lora.”

  “I know. That’s if she’ll ever see me again.” Justin forced a smile. “Maybe she’d come back if I told her I could make her a rich widow.”

  Sarah frowned. “That’s not funny.”

  “I’d rather see you laugh than cry.”

  “I think it’s good she’s gone,” Sarah said. “She said such hurtful things. If Lora really cared about you the way she should, she’d be here. You’re a great guy and if she can’t see past this, then she really doesn’t deserve you.”

  Justin shook his head. “You don’t understand. She had a friend—”

  “I don’t care.”

  “And her family is—”

  “That’s your problem, little brother,” Ann interrupted. “You’re always thinking about other people. You’re concerned about her and the people at work and not thinking about yourself. You can’t afford to. You need someone who will think about you, who will take care of you.”

  “And Lora let you down,” Sarah said.

  “No, she didn’t,” Maureen said.

  Everyone turned to her. “What?” Sarah asked.

  “She was right. We’ve coddled Justin. We’ve forgiven him for being self-indulgent while we pull out our hair with worry. In truth, Lora said everything I wish I could say.”

  “But—”

  “You didn’t hear her on the phone. She called me when she couldn’t get in touch with Justin. The way I see it, she’s been hurt enough and doesn’t need to be hurt again by us or anyone.”

  “You can’t blame Justin,” Ann said.

  “Yes, I can. Because he knows how to prevent this. I’m not saying it will never happen again, but he can and should take measures to do something before it gets this bad.”

  Oliver looked at the three women. “Could you give us a minute?”

  They nodded and left. Oliver sat near the bed and sighed. “Your worst fear came true, didn’t it?”

  Justin folded his arms, refusing to respond.

  “For once, stop being so proud. You messed up. You have to face that.”

  Justin looked out the window.

  Oliver grabbed his chin and forced him to look at him. “Do you want to see your next birthday? Do you want to have a family of your own one day? Then you need to act as if you have a tomorrow instead of living each day as if it were your last. You can’t pretend any longer. You have to face your limitations. It doesn’t mean they have to stop you. Don’t be such a selfish bastard. If you have a death wish, that’s none of our business, but Maureen’s right. All your life, people have had to dance to your tune. Follow your rules. But I’m glad Lora won’t. She shouldn’t have to. If you love her, you will live for her.” He stood. “You’ll live for all of us.” He turned and left before Justin could see his tears.

  * * *

  Oliver was right. He had to change his ways. Justin knew Lora was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And he knew he needed to talk to her parents, especially her father. He was still on medical leave, so he decided to drive over to the Rices’ house. He had called earlier to let them know he wanted to see them.

  Mrs. Rice met him at the door with fear or anxiety, Justin wasn’t sure which, written all over her face. “Come in. Bernard, um...Mr. Rice is waiting for you.” She led Justin into the den. Mr. Rice was sitting in a lounger, and he didn’t rise to greet him. He just nodded and pointed to the chair to the side of him.

  “So you want to talk to me,” he said.

  “Yes, I want to let you know I’m serious about your daughter and plan to ask her to marry me if she’ll have me...”

  Mr. Rice said nothing for a while, but then he turned and looked at Justin.

  “You better treat her right. She deserves a man who will be there to support her. Not just as a wife, and mother, but also as a successful scientist.”

  Justin didn’t know what to say. Was this the same bitter man he’d met over Christmas? He was prepared for biting words and a challenge, not caring words from a father who loved his daughter.

  “Now, don’t think because you’re going to be my son-in-law that I’m going to go easy on you,” he continued. “I hope you don’t plan on coming over here and using all your fancy big words when a short one will do. I don’t care what titles you have or awards you’ve won. I may not have gone to college, but I’m Lora’s father and I am who I am, and you’ll just have to live with that.”

  Justin felt like jumping up and shaking his hand but refrained and just nodded his head. “Yes, sir.”

  Mrs. Rice entered, carrying a tray of hot ginger tea and biscuits. She glanced in Justin’s direction and smiled.

  “So when can we expect to have you and Lora over for dinner?”

  “Well...”
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  “You’ve broken up?” Bernard guessed.

  “She’s not seeing me right now,” Justin said. “But I’m hoping to change that.”

  “And you need our help?” Grace asked.

  He shook his head. “No, I just wanted you to know my intentions.”

  She nodded, impressed. “Such a gentleman.”

  “What was the argument about?” Bernard asked.

  Justin cleared his throat. He’d hoped to avoid the topic. But he had no choice. “My health.”

  “You’re sick?”

  “I was, but I’m not anymore.” He sighed. “I have sickle cell anemia.”

  “Same as that friend of hers?”

  “Yes, but I’m going to manage it better.”

  “That won’t do.”

  “Bernard,” Grace scolded.

  He held up his hand. “No, don’t chastise me. How can a sick man provide for or protect a woman? Would you tie your prize ox to a broken plow?”

  “Mr. Rice—”

  “I’m sorry, son. It won’t do. If that’s why Lora won’t have you, then she’s right.” He stood.

  Justin stood and blocked his path. “Yes, she had a right to leave me before. But I know what I’ve lost, and I’m going to get her back whether you want me to or not. I will provide for her and protect her. She will always be cared for. I’m not a broken plow and she’s certainly not an ox. We’re a man and a woman who are meant to be together.”

  “So you think.”

  “I know it.”

  Bernard sat back down and stared up at the younger man. “You’re stronger than I thought,” he said with a tone of admiration. “Good luck to you.”

  “Thank you,” Justin said. “You haven’t seen the last of me.”

  * * *

  “I think I like that boy.” Bernard said to Grace as she removed the tray.

  “You didn’t act like it at first.”

  “I wanted to see what he was made of. I wanted to see if I could make him leave again.”

  “But he didn’t.”

  “He knows when to talk and when not to. And he’s stubborn. He’ll be a good match for my dear Lora.”